Sunday, March 30, 2008

Is this a Dead Blog, or does it just smell funny?

Most creative energy these days is going into E3 Gazette and The Chase Lounge.
Come on by!


Dougman said...

This is an Opinion Blog.

Opinions are like Assholes

Everybody has one

And they all stink

(except mine natchur'ly,
smells more like roses

Dougman said...

Dear Doug,
Here is your horoscope
for Sunday, April 6:

Your positive social energy means that you've got a veritable army of friendly acquaintances and now is a good time to make use of them. You ought to get a few benefits from that network!

What benefits?
I do it for the cookies. mmmm

Make use of them?
In what way?

Dougman said...

Dear Doug,
Here is your horoscope
for Saturday, April 26:

Try a little experimentation today -- even though things seem set in stone,
I'll be sure to do that,
whenever Saturday, April 26 of 2008 comes around again. YOU'RE LATE!
you may be able to provoke a little positive change if you try hard enough.
Can you see the irony in that, and your timing?
You may learn something valuable about a family member.
Lesson learned:
I don't particularly CARE to know that my Father-in-Law, after FIFTEEN YEARS, thinks of me as being on the "Bottum rung" as he put it.
Like I told him, quite heatedly, when we all care about each other and Love each other there is no more F'ing ladder. We reside in the upper room of LOVE after having climbed the damned thing.
He showed himself unworthing of being in that loft when he opened his mouth.

Paul A. said...

Where have you been??? GOOD to see/hear from you!

Just wanted to say, "Hey, Dude!"

MuscleDaddy said...

Personally, I want to find that Loft of Love! Jessica Alba there?

- Just askin'.

- MuscleDaddy

Dougman said...

Good to s`ear you too!
When I'm not here, looking into the mirror and babbling incoherently with drool streaming down the side of my mouth, (thanks for that visual MD!), I put on a sockpuppet and raise my hand over at Rachel's.
It's fitting as I'm in the Doghouse with the wife again!

The good news is I'll finally be getting back on the first shift, starting on Cinco de Mayo! Yeah!

MuscleDaddy said...

Now what the hell have you done?!?!

- MuscleDaddy

Dougman said...

I didn't say, with notes/cards/attention,etc..
"I Love You" enough times
over the years,
and through the tears,
(m-must fight urge to make a joke out of this)

What can I say? I'm a Joker,
not a Lover!

Oh and the shift change has been cancelled.
Not a big deal, I'm used to adjusting on the fly.

MuscleDaddy said...

I make a very nice metal rose (in copper or brass...or any combination)

Send me an email w/your address and you can have one - nothing says 'don't be mad @ me' like a rose that never fades.

- MuscleDaddy

Dougman said...

Sounds Great,
But a twist in our relationship has come up that doesn't bode well for our union.
I wouldn't want that special gift to be attached to a negative outcome.
A scenario with the Rose being cast off by Her hand in an attempt to forget about me.

We are like roommates now, with each other as live-in babysitters.

Strangely, the tension has released in one way and increased in a more internal way.
Fresh ground for mind parasites to develop if not delt with responsibly.

Dougman said...

Noah in 2008
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and sav of every living thing along with a few good humans'

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, 'You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.'

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

'Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?'

'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhea d obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matterswre, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'

'No,' said the Lord.'The government has beat me to it.'

AMEN !!!